Cupid. The God of love or something like that. How this guy became the symbol of sexual desire baffles me. A non-attractive, usually fat BABY is the face of gettin’ it on. Who are the ad-wizards who came up with THAT one?

First off, he’s a baby. His testicles haven’t even descended yet and no amount of Levitra or Viagra or Cialis or Carmen Electra’s nude boobs will ever induce an erection from him. Also, being a baby, if he WERE able to manage any kind of sexual act, I’m pretty sure the girl or guy he was messing around with would be looking at a lengthy jail sentence for statutory rape.

Secondly, he shoots people in the ass with an arrow and that’s supposed to make them fall in love? I’ll tell you what it would make me do: beat the guy’s ass that just shot mine with an arrow. What a little prick… and I mean that literally.

Nextly, the guy probably has never even had a conversation with a real woman, therefore he would have no idea what to do with one. I guarantee that he’s got NOTHING on Hitch. Will Smith – why did you take a break from saving the world every summer and come out with a romantic comedy? If terrorists get us this year, don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Lastly, I submit that we change the symbol of Valentine’s Day from Cupid to - I don’t know - say… Natural Light. The Natty, although inanimate, is responsible for WAY more random hookups than lil’ Cupid will ever be a part of. But if the symbol has to be a human, I’d give it to Doctor Ruth.