In a unanimous vote, the inaugural recipient of the Bob Vila Craftsman Tool of the Week is Pacers forward Ron Artest. Artest gains the honor after asking for time off to promote his rap album, explaining his situation ever so eloquently, then getting the time off because he went into the crowd during a Pistons game and started one of the biggest brawls in sports history.

Ron was suspended for the season, losing $5.5 million in salary, leaving his debut album (dropping Nov. 23) to put food on the table for his family this year. Artest said he wanted to spend more time with his family, and he got his wish. Now he can take the next six months to explain to his kids why daddy had to turn those fans’ faces into a Picasso painting.

Artest, whose sole positive attribute is his basketball skill (pending the release of his album, but we’re not holding our breaths) proved this week that he truly is one of the dumbest sports figures in history not only in book smarts, but common sense. Although provoked, something in his head should have told him “jumping into stands and throwing haymakers equals bad idea.” But this comes from a guy who didn’t know the meaning of “compromise” and “integrity.”

For being selected as this week’s Tool, Artest receives a complimentary Craftsman tool set, with which he can use to tighten the assortment of screws that he’s got loose. He also gets a dictionary/thesaurus combination to look up “compromise” and “integrity” and to learn new words to incorporate into his raps. Congratulations Ron, and good luck in the future. Seriously, you’re going to need it.